Problems.

Distressed mind looking for answers.
Empowered by thoughts that’s not clinical
But rather disturbing and haunting.
Thoughts that take me away,
they’re cold and overwhelmingly
harmful to other people.

Thought positivity would help me feel better.
It doesn’t.
Optimistic beliefs haven’t had a good work on me.

I try to stay away from people.
Depressive disorder is what defines me.
I take hits because they help me.
They take me to a better place
A place that’s calmer,
With less bullshit to deal with.

Good days are hard to come by.
Good memories are being faded away,
Into oblivion.
The soul becomes tired.

Whatever you hear now is a lie
Trust will always be the issue.
Maybe it’s the past that made me this way.
Practical living becomes obvious.

Saturday’s couldn’t become more pathetic.
Mondays were always the best.
Living like this has made me
love the worst of days.

Predictive emotions lie ahead.
I’m drowning in my own disaster.
Words may help me open up
But nothing will make me feel calmer.
While the productive thinking doesn’t even turn and tries to come back.

Intertwining with people now is like
finding a needle in a haystack.
My mind is so full of shit.
I can’t even describe it.
Maybe that’s the reason people don’t wanna get close to me.
I’m like a disease,
like a walking tragedy.
Contagious to the race of humanity.

I’ve given in to the thoughts that’s inside my head.
How could we possibly function with a mind that’s not sane?
Its never gonna be the same again.
Possibly the worst feeling one can actually get.

Do you remember being a kid and having no regard for the real world?
I can’t anymore.
The negativity is so strong that I could even forget my childhood.
That’s the amount of hateful thoughts I’ve got in me
that you probably don’t even wanna know.

Never thought this would be so hard.
They say life is hard to live,
But what’s hard for me is,
The thoughts that cripple us.
The thoughts that soon stick with us.
It’s a lifetime of an affliction living.

The vanity in this world has gone.
Lies overtaking the truth.
My perpetual adorations are becoming semi professional because,
Even the saints have become sinners.
Innocent living is a myth.
But in the end, yeah,
the good do really die young.

Bless the wasted youths of our sorry generation.

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Thoughts of the unattended.

The whole idea of me getting lost with you
is quiet spectacular.
Getting lost in your company, is
something i’d love.
Escaping from reality
that’s life.

The hurdles we gotta face
would be oblivious if You and I were in sync.
Maybe that’s what we long.
A break from this deficient world might just set us free.

Could it be that I’m being too absurd?
Or this idea of me being lost with you sounds fitting?
I’m terrified to see what this world has come to.
Pairing the wrong being together.
Just to see them fall out of affection.
Why can’t it be just You and me from the beginning?
Why commence with an affliction when we could’ve embarked on ardency?
Those are the things that annoy me.
Which would’ve easily been evaded if only we could’ve paired up sooner.
So that, we could’ve avoided all the other agony we went through when we were with another being.
Because honestly, the whole idea of me getting lost with you, still sounds spectacular to me.

“Love.”

Some people like the idea of falling in love.
Others, they like the feeling of falling in love.
Don’t be confused by the way you’re infatuated with someone.
Be confused by the way of how you’re constantly thinking of them.
Be confused by how they’re the only thing you think of when you’ve got so much going on in your mind.
Aren’t you overwhelmed by the mere presence of them in your head?
It’s confusing yet alarmingly beautiful.
Some call it stupid.
I call it a natural phenomena.
It’s okay for you to think of them.
It’s okay for you to go through that phase.
It’s okay for you to catch those feelings.
Because, aren’t we all humans?
Some deal it by confronting them.
While others, they write it down somewhere so that those people who feel this way won’t have to feel like they are alone.

Beautiful disaster.

She’s a beautiful disaster.
She makes me feel happy and sad at the same time.
Whenever we’re together, my soul’s at peace.
I smile and laugh uncontrollably.
I feel like she’s the only person that makes me feel this way.
And, whenever she’s not there, I don’t know myself.
When she’s not there, I feel lost.
When she’s not there, my smiles slowly disappear.
Whenever she’s not there, I think to myself, “what would I do without her?”

It’s crazy what a person does to you.
It’s crazy how these feelings generates as time goes by.
It’s scary how a person does that to you.
Cause once this happens, its so hard to go back to how you were before.
And the most craziest part of what I’m going through is that,
She’s not even mine.
Not mine to save.
Not mine to hug when she’s lonely.
Not mine to hold when she’s tired.
Not mine to wipe away those tears when she cries.
Not mine to say, “I love you and I’m here for you.”
Not mine to say, “everything’s gonna be alright.” When things go against her.
She’s not mine.
She’ll never be mine.
Cause someone as beautiful as her can only be a dream for me.
She’s such a beautiful disaster.

Love and Reality.

Blinded, guards down, blissed-out.

Is what happens whenever I see her.

A romantic’ as they’d say.

 

Me, I feel blessed.

Blessed to know a person like her.

Quite special and amazing.

 

Her, a particular diamond.

Lost high up in the sea of stars.

Just waiting for the moment.

 

I’d be a fool if

I do not grasp that moment that’s

in front of me, a miracle.

 

The truth is,

this is not a fairytale.

Here, the endings are atrocious.

Fallen Silhouette

She likes her dress neatly pressed.

Her lips so red you can’t guess she drank, blood or wine.

She sells her body on a weekly basis

Just to fill her tummy with handful of yummies.

Her voice so divinely distressed,

You could mistake her for an angel thats lost her taste,

who’s always on high end pills, alcohols and stress.

 

Her face covered deep in men.

Every night she can’t stop this trend.

No way out.

Her skin so numb.

Now maybe thats the way it is.

 

Lost in the confusion of living.

She’s tired, she stops believing.

When will this end?

Today? Tomorrow? The weekend?

Love’s lost, mind’s distraught, her soul is done for.

But she’s still living.

Still hoping for a miracle.

 

She thought a miracle came in him.

The guy with the blue eyes.

Did everything that made things so right.

Love was back, mind was calm and her soul was filled.

Things he did for her, some cannot be described by words.

She though the bad days were over.

But, was it?

 

Things went from good to bad.

His blue eyes started to go black.

He sucked her life out.

Broken, battered and bruised, she felt, left out, again..

She screamed with all the energy that was left in her

Hoping he would turn around and go back to her.

 

But no,

Her face again, covered deep in men,

She wanted so much to stop this trend.

Again, there was no way out.

Her skin so numb.

Now maybe, thats just the way it was.

Moments.

In life, you’ll meet lots of people.

You’ll come along different types of souls.

But, for me personally, it won’t matter how many times you’ve met that

particular person.

Or how many times you’ve gotten to speak to that particular person.

 

For me, the thing that would matter would be that moment you’ve had

with that person.

It could be a 5 minute or a 5 hour conversation.

It is that moment that you’ll cherish for the rest of the night or maybe the

coming week.

It’s those moments that makes you realise that everyone isn’t the same.

And that everyone has a different story to offer.

Be it good or bad.

First blog post

Hello potential readers! This is my very first time here on WordPress. I’m looking forward to post lots of stuff here. I started this blog because I wanted to put my thoughts into words. And there’s nothing better than creating a blog and letting myself be heard. I could also get a lot of help from people who would read my blogs. People’s opinions are always welcomed. I plan on sharing stuff that i already wrote and stuff that I’m currently working on. As you can see the name of my domain “FictionalConceptions”,I’m focusing on sticking my writings purely based on imaginations but also at the same time bringing some light to my writings and surfacing my topics on reality.

I’d like to keep it short on this one.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!